Andrea's Secret Read online

Andrea spent just four days in hospital before returning with her baby daughter to her flat and the selfless care of Louise Whiltshire. Nothing was too much trouble for Louise. But, as Andrea grappled with the demands and complexities that are an integral part of caring for a new baby, not even the re-assuring presence of Louise could hold back the ever encroaching, physical, psychological, and social dynamics that haunt the mind of those who face the prospect of single parenthood from an unplanned pregnancy.

  While breast-feeding her daughter Mary Therese, emotional depression began to intrude upon Andrea's initial joy, and erratic, uncharacteristic behaviour overtook sound judgment. Andrea thought that motherhood would be a joyful experience, but with a nasty dose of colic, Mary Therese provided Andrea with little joy, little sleep, little opportunity to bond, and a perception of failure as a mother in that first month. In the early days of 1975, as Andrea watched on television the ongoing aftermath of Cyclone Tracy's devastating impact on the people of Darwin on Christmas day a few weeks earlier, she was shocked at the destruction and dislocation of whole families. As relatives from all parts of the country offered shelter to the homeless, Andrea Steedman suddenly became acutely conscious of her own isolation. 'Where is my family? Why am I not with them? How can I care for this baby who just cries, and cries, and cries?' As the days passed, Andrea's negativity, and feelings of inadequacy increased. She needed to return to work, but shuddered at the thought of being with other people. Her savings were in serious decline after providing the essentials for Mary Therese. She found herself constantly crying, and neglecting her diet. Her life, in the space of a few weeks, became a nightmare and in desperation, she came to a momentous decision. 'I want to go home,' she decided.

  As Andrea's postnatal depression deepened, she turned to her flat mate Louise. She poured out her feelings of guilt, her confusion, her uncertainty about wanting to keep the baby, and an underlying fear that she may do something to harm Mary Therese.

  "I can't keep living like this," she said. "I can't afford to stay here and not work. I have to earn money to look after her," she said, the tears flowing freely, her distraught state fully exposed.

  "Don't worry about the money. You don't have to pay me any rent while you are away from work," Louise told her. There was a slight pause in the conversation as Andrea absorbed Louise's reassurance.

  Then, as if realizing that this was the perfect moment, Louise added, "I know someone who might be able to help."

  "What do you mean?" asked Andrea.

  "I don't want to upset you but I know someone who knows about adoption." Andrea was temporarily stunned and opened her mouth to speak but the words would not come.

  "Don't be shocked," Louise continued, "there's nothing wrong with thinking about it. It might be an alternative for you. I know someone who knows how it works and all that. They will find some loving couple to adopt your baby," she said. Andrea was not totally shocked. The thought had passed across her mind before Louise had suggested it. She knew that it might be a possibility from the moment she decided to come to Brisbane. She knew that the demands that would bear down upon her as a single parent would be enormous. She wondered if she would be up to the task, and in search of alternatives, her mind often drifted toward the idea of adoption.

  "I know someone who could arrange it for you," Louise repeated, and then after a short pause added, "and pay you as well." Louise bit her lip. "Pay me?" Andrea said, surprised and confused. "I don't want to be paid." Andrea was taken aback at the very suggestion. Of all the possibilities she had considered, payment had never surfaced in her mind. "I have thought about lots of things I could do," she answered. "I could adopt, or I could go home with Mary Therese and tell my mother the truth. If I keep her, I know it's going to be a huge struggle and I don't know if I'm ready for that. There are things I want to do with my life," she said pleading. "I want a career, I want to travel and see the places I spend so much time talking to other people about. But none of that will be possible unless I can be sure that Mary Therese finds a good home, something better than I can give her."

  "These people can do that. That's what they do, and they are very mindful of your wishes," Louise said. "And anyway, why shouldn't you get paid? You are the baby's mother. You are making a huge sacrifice, giving up your own flesh and blood. It's only fair that you receive something in return; some compensation for all you have gone through."

  It did not occur to Andrea at the time, that Louise made no mention of the likely psychological impact that might result as a consequence of parting with her baby; never to see her again, never to know what happened to her.

  "Will I know who the new parents are?" she asked.

  "Yes, but once you hand over the baby, it is best not to know anything any more. You'll get back to your normal life and soon you won't think about it any more," Louise advised her. "You sound like you have had some personal experience with this?" Andrea said.

  "Me! Goodness no. But I have seen others go through it." Louise replied. "Would you like me to make some enquiries for you?"

  Andrea went silent. She looked at the tiny baby in her arms, back at Louise and again at Mary Therese. "It would all be legal and everything won't it?" she asked. "There would be all the proper paper work and everything?"

  "Yes of course. All adoptions have to be approved by the Department of Children's Services. The people who do this look after all of that. You would just have to sign some papers."

  "I do get to say who adopts her though, don't I?' said Andrea, suddenly concerned that she would not play any part in the final decision.

  "Yes of course you do. If you don't like a particular couple, then you don't have to agree to it."

  Privately arranged adoptions became illegal in the state of Queensland from the introduction of the Adoption of Children Act of 1964, when all adoptions were processed through the Department of Children's Services. Some assessment work was contracted out, and private arrangements for adoptions by relatives could take place, but even then, they still required the Director's approval. That however, didn't mean that private arrangements not involving relatives stopped occurring. Louise Whiltshire had a friend, who had a friend who knew about these things. Trading in new-born babies brought financial rewards. As babies became more difficult to find, desperate young couples with enough money to spend could negotiate a private adoption. All it needed was a birth certificate, and the birth mother to endorse a claim that a relative was adopting the child. It was a practice that was not without its risks, but greed, opportunity and desperation were regular bedfellows, and given the amount of money involved, risks were taken. When Andrea Steedman gave Louise permission to make some enquiries, little did she realize that Louise was well versed in the business of private adoptions. Little did Andrea realize that she was just one more unsuspecting mother who had fallen prey to the trade.

  3.